Whadya think of this idea?

I think I'm going to start alternating blog posts. One day, mommie advice and the next day, talk nice about somebody. The mommie advice idea isn't new - other people do it and I've already posted a few of these blogs. However, the other idea is something I think will be fun. And will make people want to read! We all like to read about ourselves don't we? I mean if it's good.

Well I've been blessed with a fabulous family and some incredible friends. And I think that I will give each person in my life a day and say all kinds of nice things about them. And I mean I'm going to include LOTS of people! Be ready!

So tomorrow, tune in - it might be you!

So this morning I went to the hospital with a young friend of mine who is expecting a baby very soon. She hasn't been feeling well and her doctor wanted to see her at the hospital just to check everything out. She is fine and the doctor assured her that her baby was doing beautifully. Wonderful news!

As I was there, I saw young couples in varying stages of anticipation (labor) awaiting the arrival of their babies. Several thoughts concerning parenthood have occurred to me since this morning as a result of seeing all these folks waiting.

Do they realize as they await that first child how riciculously their lives are about to change? They would probably say they do - at least they know change is coming.

But really?

Do they know that the heart that you thought had been broken in the past will now be so vulnerable in the hands of your tiny little baby that you will literally cry when they cry because you seem to feel their pain more deeply than your own?

Does the young mother I was with understand that in just a few years there will be times when, in the middle of the day, she will be rendered stupified thinking that her daughter might be made fun of by playmates at school?

Does the dad pacing the maternity floor know that one day, he'll excuse himself in the middle of an important business meeting, drive 100 miles an hour back to his home and then 100 miles an hour back across town to his son's baseball game in time to literally throw his cleats over the dugout fence to his son who has just mysteriously found a second pair of cleats in the bottom of his bat bag?

Do the parents know that there will be a time at least 20 years from this day when they will wake up in the wee hours of the morning and feel an actual weight of fear on their chest because they don't know if their son or daughter is safe in their dorm room or in a less desirable, more dangerous place?

Parenthood is amazing - other than eternal life, it is the richest blessing available to us humans.

I am so glad I'm a mother.

Today I'm praying for all of the new parents I know.

You pray too!

Randomness

1) I have on a new shirt today. Why can't things look as good on me as they do in my mind. Probably because, in my mind, I still weigh 112 pounds.

2) I like blackberry tea.

3) Daisy died today. When my children hurt it is so much more painful than when I hurt.

4) I need this long weekend like I haven't needed anything in a very, very long time.

5) I love to play all kinds of games with my family.

6) I saw a man today at Ruby Tuesdays who had both feet in walking casts. He broke both feet playing in a charity kick-ball game. No good deed goes unpunished. - I don't believe this but that's what the man said.

7) Remember number 6 while preparing to do number 5 this weekend.

8) Also while at Ruby Tuesday's today, I met a little girl from Lansing, Michigan who was in Nashville because she won a special pass and a trip to see a private screening of the new Hannah Montana movie with Miley Cyrus. WOW I wish I were 9 again!

9) Never argue with idiots - you end up falling to their level and then they beat you with experience (yes, this also my facebook status today but after this week - I don't think I can say this enough!)

10) Blackberry tea makes me tinkle. (see #2) - gotta go.

Keep praying.

Boo Hoo

I’ve had better days. Better weeks really. I’m off topic today – just have been feeling sorry for myself for the past couple of days and kind of down in the dumps, as my sweet Mammo used to say. This is my blog – I can do that, I suppose.

First of all, my daughter Caroline’s dog Daisy is very sick. She is the most precious little thing – full blooded beagle and all good.

She is an exceedingly docile, laid back little girl who loves her mama and daddy and brother Joey (the cat) so much. She’s recently been diagnosed with a tragically debilitating spinal condition that, after extensive surgery this week, has rendered her a paraplegic pet. The next couple of days are crucial to her condition as there is a possibility that her paralysis can spread. It is so pitiful for Caroline and Sean to watch her go through this and they are struggling with how to lovingly treat Daisy and what the best thing to do for her will be. So if you’re a pet lover, or even if you aren’t, please say a prayer for Daisy that she won’t hurt anymore and won’t be afraid.

Second, I’m bummed about my job. And it’s not really a good time to be bummed about a job I’m fortunate to have, I suppose. Going through that “does anyone really appreciate me – no one has any idea what all I do” kind of funk that I guess everyone goes through. Women especially fight a battle (I think) with being labeled with that “b” word tag if they have high expectations of their co-workers. Sometimes, (like right now), I truly struggle with whether being demanding is a Christian way to be. I also struggle (continuously) with keeping my mouth shut. And believe it or not, being demanding does not mix well with an inability to keep one’s mouth shut. Shocking – I know.

Oh well – no sage advice today. No parenting tips. Just a little pity party.

But tomorrow is another day. I’ve a bed to sleep in – good friends – great family. And dog-gone-it, people like me – oh wait – that’s Stewart Smalley – not me!

Pray.

Make it Real!

On the Christian ecumenical calendar, this week is considered Holy Week. Christians are reminded of Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem days before he would be tried, found guilty of contrived charges and murdered by his own people on a cross. It is a somber week for believers because we are humbled to remember that it was for our sins alone he bore this burden and suffered this atrocious and violent act. The week triumphantly culminates with Easter Sunday when Jesus was absent from the grave (of death) – signifying the completion of God’s plan for our salvation. What a wonderful, breathtaking piece of history! I believe it!

Why do I believe it – well because first it’s true! Second I believe it because I know it – I know it because I was taught this all my life and I’ve been shown the scriptures that prove it. Which brings me to my blog topic for today.

When my sister and I were growing up, my parents took us to church literally “every time the doors were open.” (And sometimes when they weren’t officially open – my mom and dad were the church treasurers and building committee chair and other things that required extra attendance sometimes!) Anyway, from the earliest age I can remember, at least once or twice during the week before Easter, my mother would remind my sister and I of what Jesus might have been doing about 2,000 years ago. I see now that this was a way that she helped make Jesus and our growing faith real to us. Perhaps he was instructing two of his disciples to go ahead into Jerusalem to get a donkey for him to ride. Or maybe he was walking beside Simon who the soldiers made to carry the cross that the Sanhedrin sentenced Jesus to die upon. Or maybe he had just walked into the Garden of Gethsemane to find his disciples sleeping when he had asked them to wait while he prayed. Whatever the situation my mother asked us to consider, it was always one that invoked vivid images very much bringing to life the fact that Jesus was human and suffered human pain, anxiety, and fear especially heightened during the week before his crucifixion and resurrection.

I am grateful to my mother and father for ensuring that they reared their children in a Christian home. And as I know from being a parent, there are varying degrees of Christian homelife. There are the homes where children ask a blessing before each meal, are taken to church fairly regularly and pray before going to bed at night. Nothing wrong with that. But I challenge young parents who might read this blog to go the distance in preparing your children for their life-long walk with the Lord. Make it real for them – model your behavior not to please your child but to please the Lord who has loaned your child to you to rear. Make His story real for them like my mama did for me. I promise you, they will be eternally grateful to you. I know I am!

And pray.

Hard Work

I haven’t felt like blogging much this week – not sure why. I knew what my next topic would be – just didn’t have a lot to say. Until last night.

So last night the telephone rings at about 9:45. It’s Clay, our youngest and only son.
He entered ASU three and a half years ago as a freshman in the Barrett Honors College. He earned a full academic scholarship to attend this school. He chose Arizona State primarily because of the scholarship – he knew it would help us out tremendously to have the majority of his school paid. For this, his father and I will always be grateful. Clay also dabbled a little bit in playing baseball while there – ASU Sundevil baseball is legendary among college programs. He’s set to graduate from next month. Up until recently, we were under the impression that he might choose not to graduate because he wanted to obtain some special designation that he had heard might help him get into law school. But then a couple of months ago, after meeting with his advisor, he changed his mind and graduation was a go. Additionally, it looked like he would be able to graduate from ASU – Barrett Honors College (this means with high honors) – as long as he completed and successfully defended his honors thesis. Frankly, it was at this point I started to doubt.

You see, I love my son – and all of my children. However, I loved my son almost too much at various points during his upbringing. He was the classic youngest child. And being the only male child, he also benefited from having two older, very caring sisters. But mama was the worst – he did little in the way of chores and what he did do, I’d redo rather than insist that he do a good job. He’s brilliant – almost frighteningly so. He’s a gifted athlete and I’m told he’s a very attractive young man (by my girlfriends). He’s also a pretty kind person too and exceedingly polite.

But his work ethic fails him repeatedly. He can work hard – but he gets distracted. And he fights the same battles over and over in a self-defeating attempt to refocus. So that brings me back to his call last night. Turns out his GPA is not going to be high enough for him to graduate with honors. So he’ll just be a college graduate – same as most people (who graduate from college). Really that is all he should be at this point. Frankly, I would (and did) question the prestige of an honors designation if it could be obtained by taking the minimum hours necessary to remain a fulltime student for eight semesters in a row and failing to attain more than a B- average in four years for this less than stellar effort.

So, with Clay, I wish I had worked harder at making him work hard. My girls know how to work hard. This is a character trait that will never, ever fail a person. Instead, I delighted so in having a sweet little boy that I let opportunities pass to teach him that the real world doesn’t care about your natural intellect or your ability to hit a baseball. What really matters is if you’re willing to work just a tad harder than the person in the cubicle next to you. I wish that instead of applauding Clay when he very cleverly figured out a “work around” on a school assignment ("work-around" is a politically correct term for “short-cut'), I had insisted he show his work and do things the hard way.

You see, as his mother, I had no part in his natural intellect nor his good looks. The Lord blessed him there. I was responsible for his strength of character. He’s nice, kind, polite and considerate – I am proud of him for those things. But I worry so about the same mountain he continually climbs to recommit himself to hard work. I want his habits to reflect that his first effort is always his best effort. Only then will I feel less worried about my sweet boy.

I’m praying.

Rules - bring them on!

So I’m watching March Madness, in full swing, this weekend and a thought occurs to me as an “invisible” foul is called on a player. “Wow, I wish those refs would just let them play.” Which meant I thought, “I wish the officials hadn’t chosen that particular time to call a foul on the team for which I was rooting.” I didn’t see the foul and so I was a little annoyed. So what was the alternative? Did I really just want the ref to let the players play and not call any violations? No way. But I resented (as did the player involved and his coach) the application of a rule at that particular point in the game. It was mightily inconvenient! But rules are a part of that game. Rules are a part of everything for that matter. Imagine driving to work tomorrow on a highway system with no speed limits, no traffic lights, no “keep to the right” except to pass (as if anyone really obeys that one!). A scary thought – no?

When did we learn to follow rules? How did we learn to follow them? Likely (and hopefully) most of us learned these concepts at an early age. And while you may think that the topic of this post is terribly over-simplified and exceedingly obvious, you’d be surprised at how often I witness parents of young children totally missing this concept. Not because they don’t get it but because it’s just too hard!

But I challenge you today to think of what setting reasonable limits and rules with expected and consistent consequences for violation really means to a child and moreover, to our society. I’ll tell you. It means security. Few of us would follow any sporting event that didn’t have a pre-determined set of rules. I would not set foot out of my house tomorrow if I didn’t think most of the people on the road with me were abiding by common traffic laws. I derive security from these. Same with kids. We parents strive to save enough money for college, spend much time checking out pediatricians, classrooms, carseats and such for our children. We want the best for them; we want to ensure their future is bright, secure and happy. But when it comes to applying a rule or a consequence for breaking a rule to our children, we back down so often because we don’t want to upset the little guy. We don’t want to discourage free-will or expression of the sweet little girl. But that isn’t the way society works. Kids must be taught hard lessons that broken rules and exceeded limits equal undesirable consequences. Wouldn’t you prefer to teach it to your son or daughter with love than have him or her learn it later in society from anyone else who didn’t have their best interest at heart? Absolutely, it’s hard to deny a child something they want; it’s difficult to administer an unpleasant consequence when a child is upset or his or her feelings are hurt. But I promise you, your child needs your consistency and your unwavering commitment to teaching him or her right from wrong and controlled behavior. In later years, they will tell you (I know for a fact) that these practices were what defined their security.

And pray.

Tomorrow: Hard Work.

Never Leave Home Without 'Em

Without what?

High Expectations of your children.

I doubt any parent would say they don't expect their child to succeed. Success is a broad concept.

From a child's infancy, loving parents look for signs of high intellect, advanced social skills, and above-average physical development - my baby turned over today, he's only three weeks old, she followed me all the way across the room with her eyes, etc. While these developments are exciting and inspire great parental pride, they truly are not skills we teach our children. But, a parent can begin to teach a child how to succeed and develop successful behavior beginning at an early age. It's all about expectations.

I have a friend who has a precious little girl - who is quickly turning into a terror. (No one who reads this blog so I'm not talking about you!) This little girl is the youngest in her family. She's got scads of personality. When she was very young, she began repeating saucy retorts to things her parents said to her - remarks that she'd either heard on television shows or from her preteen big sister. It was so cute and funny, when she would throw her hands on her three-year-old little hips, cock her head to one side, and say, "What-ever" after being told/asked to settle down or to put a toy away. After the first couple of times she did this and her cute (but inappropriate) response was met with a laugh from her parent, what message do you think she received? The expectation changed - she was expected to say something funny not to change her actions! It's not rocket-science when broken down into three-year old terms is it?

"So do I begin setting behavioral expectations for my child around age three?" you may be asking. No way! Start earlier. It's okay to show a very young child you expect certain behavior from him or her.

For example, a temper tantrum should be met with, at the very least, refusal to give in to the child's demands. Yep, that's harsh and when you're in the check-out line at the grocery, it may not even seem doable. But it works. Expectations are a two way street you see. If a child responds in temper to not getting his or her way, and you, as the parent, give in to him or her, then what does that child begin to expect the result of a temper fit will be? That's right, you got it - Child 1 - Parent - zilch. And let me tell you, those little stinkers will run that temper tantrum score up on you faster than you can imagine! And I'll go one step further, if a child has a temper tantrum, to the extent you are able, you should immediately remove his or her audience - namely YOU! Put that cute baby in her pack and play, stick that precious little boy facing a wall for about thirty seconds. Show him or her that no one is paying attention to the negative behavior. That's what we did. When my youngest daughter didn't get her way (and she knew that we didn't typically grant an audience to temper fits), she would follow me or her father around the house, flopping into a chair or across a table as if her world had ended. She wanted us to know that she was miserable but she knew she couldn't throw a fit. It was hysterical - but quiet and peaceful and she got the point. She's not a big fit-pitcher now but she'll pout from time to time. All in all, not a bad result.

Finally, if you begin to set high expectations (and consistent consequences) for behavior when a child is young, then high expectations for character traits such as kindness, academic success, work ethic, and integrity are much easier to teach and model as your child moves toward becoming his or her own little person and into young adulthood. The framework is already built; the rules are already set. They will play along.

And pray.

Tomorrow - more about limits, rules and consequences.

Me? A mom?

I have three adult children - I've posted info about them previously. They are all:
healthy
presumably happy
and
not in jail

So, how was their journey to adulthood accomplished with success? Pure and simple - the good Lord did it! No doubt. Ed and I had no clue how to rear children. However, we did learn some things along the way. I plan to use this blog to discuss these lessons in "growing humans." I'm just introducing the topics today (in a list that isn't necessarily exhaustive, just all the things I can think of right now) and I'll come back and post on each topic as I go.

So here's the list of catchy lesson titles:

High Expectations - never leave home without 'em.
Limits/Rules/Consequences - kids love 'em.
Hard Work - will never fail 'em.
Financial Skills - wish I'd been taught 'em.
A little guilt goes a long way.
Don’t be afraid to be your teenager’s excuse.
Always give the other person the benefit of the doubt.
Wear someone else's shoes for a little while.
Going to the chappel - not to get married!

Stay tuned - tomorrow: High Expectations.

How You Live - REALLY????

Okay - so I haven't blogged in a while - come close, but never held on to the thought long enough to actually sign on and write something.

Today that changes....

So I am driving to work this morning and I'm listening to the local "positive, uplifting, safe-for-the-whole-family" radio station (read: pseudo contemporary Christian music). And I hear a song that catches my attention. For a while now, I've used my 1/2 hour morning commute to pray, praise and reflect - sometimes with accompaniment (from aforementioned radio station), sometimes without.

Back to the song.

It's called "How You Live" - recorded by Point of Grace - a female gospel group (their website's description, not mine). I typically enjoy their music. However, this song, as upbeat as it can be, is disturbing to me, a believer. Let me illustrate why I feel this way.

The chorus includes the following advice:
Take a few chances and let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Looking back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live

My friends - that's just not true! It is Who you knew. And that is Jesus. And it's not about how you live - it's because He lived (and died and rose!). How we live really is immaterial until we accept this gift. Then how we live should change and more importantly is covered by His grace that this vocal group's name is based upon.

And another thing about these lyrics.......

The second verse includes more sage (sarcastic tone here) advice:
So give to the needy, and pray for the grieving
Even when you don't think you can
'Cause all that you do is bound to come back to you
So think of your fellow man

Please, by all means, be kind and compassionate to all people, particularly those less fortunate than you. And absolutely, pray for others, and be sure to include those with heavy hearts. But if you do it simply to stave off any negative repercussions that may be visited upon you if you don't practice these noble deeds, then forget it! That's not the point. Equally as pointless: if you engage in any of these apparent good acts for reward! Do it because it has been done for you by our Father first and foremost! That IS the point.

So, off my soapbox now. The ladies of Point of Grace have recorded some great pieces. This isn't one of them. In their attempt to "organically cross over into the country genre" I fear they have compromised the message!

Annual Enrollment

These two words strike fear and loathing into the hearts of individuals involved in the HR and employee benefits world. Why - you might ask. Then again - you might not. (People generally detest thinking about insurance in any shape form or fashion)

What is it? Well it's the time, each year, that most employee benefit plans make changes for the coming year. It's also the time when employees are offered the opportunity make changes to their personal coverages - think health insurance, dental insurance, disability, life, cancer insurance, etc. So most people who know me, know that I kind of go underground during the month of September preparing for the fourth quarter Annual Enrollment that my client goes through. I moan and groan about it a lot more than I should because a)it always means job security for me and b)I sorta like it! (don't tell). I am so busy - which suits me very well. I get to do a lot of process planning and implementation - this year more than any other thus far. And I get to problem solve - problems that I haven't had a hand in creating, that is. The remainder of the calendar year, I'm generally solving problems I help create!

My client is a large health care company which employees approx 4500 fulltime benefit eligible people throughout seven states. And we enroll each of them. I don't travel out to their locations during this time (I do travel to see them during the first half of the year). But I direct their enrollment, enrollers and workflow to our half dozen or so insurance carriers. It's crazy but very interesting.

What's that??? Snoring I hear - oh come - someone's got to do it. Seriously, do you really want to have to read each and every insurance form and booklet you're given from your HR department??? Yeah, didn't think so..

My Prayer for Today

You see I am an adult with self-diagnosed ADD. Do I really have it? Perhaps. Who knows? I am certain that if in the late 1960s and early 1970s Ritalin had been popular I would have been one drugged up little girl! I could not sit still! I cannot accurately recall how many recesses I missed and write-offs I was assigned just because I couldn't shut up or sit down. So as an adult, when my mind and my being is going in umpteen different directions at once, it just seems normal to me!

But as I try to deepen my Walk and spend more time in prayer with my Lord, being ADD really stinks! I hope God understands. As I sit here early on a quiet Saturday morning before I head to KY to spend the day with Mother, I want to start my day with a sweet conversation with God. So I thought I would "blog" it. Not to be boastful in prayer - the scriptures strictly warn against that and I don't care if anyone reads this. I'm trying it as a focusing tactic.

Lord, thank you for this day - it's going to be a good one. The air is crisp this morning as I let our doggies out in the backyard. I love autumn - it's one my favorite of your works. And while I'm at it - thank you for my sweet little dogs. They are strange - especially Gunther - what were you thinking with him? But they have both brought Ed and me a lot of joy. And I'm grateful. And thank you for my daughter and her husband and the sweet fellowship we've come to enjoy with them most Friday evenings of late. Heavenly Father, you've shown me that when my children are believers and live Christian lives, it is one of the richest blessings a parent can know. Thank you for my awesome mother who I plan to visit today. Help me enjoy this day with her and help me act in a fashion that ensures that she knows how much I love her! And I pray for a safe day of travel. Thank you for my sweet husband Lord. He will be staying here today to do yardwork and to prepare our house for the party that I scheduled here tomorrow. If he makes it through the day without getting aggravated with me, I will be most blessed! And finally Lord, I want to truly spend my day in your presence. Please help me be mindful of you and help me behave in Godly ways - that bring you glory. I love you. Amen.

Tuesday that was like Monday

I didn't work yesterday (from the office anyway) because I was sick. So today was my Monday. Busy Busy. I've just finished a gourmet supper of peanut butter and jelly on wheat with milk and am settling in to balance my checkbook, watch Dancing w/the Stars RESULTS show and finish up my Beth Moore homework.

So anyway, where did my name "Waddie" come from?

I have the cutest little great-nephew named Brant. He's now a very smart and sweet eight year old third grader. I've always really enjoyed all my neices and nephews - love spending time with them! But Brant holds a special little place in my heart - he was a real cuddler when he was little and Waddie loves to cuddle babies! Anyhoo, he couldn't say Aunt Laurie when he was around three. He tried and it came out as "Aunt Waddie". So there you have it.

Now while Waddie isn't the most glamorous nickname I could wish for I truly love it when I hear it because people who call me that love me. Even friends and co-workers call me that now but it's okay because it's always said in an endearing manner.

One of the most ridiculous yet funny things my children have done over the past years since I've acquired this nickname is when they've distorted the "waddie" name or modified to fit certain characteristics I possess or to reflect some of my more embarrassing moments. Like "Aunt Waddie poot and pitch" or Lawrence Wadsworth. Or when they come up with nicknames to mimic various lifestyle Barbie titles - comparable to Career Barbie or School Teacher Barbie or Beachtime Barbie. Think, Control Freak Waddie or Trivial Pursuit Waddie.

So now you know where Waddie comes from.

ps: apparently "waddie" isn't in the dictionary - spell checked this post and it went nuts!

So this is blogging??????

Okay - so I have no clue what I'm doing. I have threatened to write my thoughts in a tome to my children for years. I've felt compelled to journal - but never when I could actually take the time to write or even find a writing instrument! But I'm going to try to blog - at least for today.

I know people (younger than me) who have a blog - normal people, even. These are not people who are overly self-important or even terribly verbiose. But they are interesting and often inspiring to me. So perhaps, someday, someone, might find a value in a thought I have!

About me.

I am a 46 year old mother, wife, co-worker, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, friend and believer.

I've been married to Ed for nearly 28 years! Wow - in print - that simple fact about my life is amazing and at the same time a very real testament to the miracles that God has worked in my life. Ed is a wonderful husband and father who has never once waivered in his commitment to our family and to me - he is a true gentleman. I love him.

God allowed Ed and I to borrow three children from Him during our marriage and we've done our best to rear them and love them. They too are amazing and another testament to God's work in my life. They were the easiest children to raise and love. They love others and have a keen sense of right and wrong. Katie, Caroline and Clay each have tender hearts and know they are loved not only by their parents and their family but most of all by their Creator and in this I know that Ed and I accomplished the most important of all parental resonsibilities!

I work for a employee benefit consultant firm - have for almost ten years. I'm grateful for this job. All I can say right now about that - maybe more later.

I love my mother - like many women (I think) I've had a lifelong need for her approval. I don't wake each morning thinking of it but when I am successful at something, she's usually the first I want to tell. Yes, I always clean my house when she visits - but I'm not as neurotic about it as I used to be. And I must admit, when I do things wrong, I still hope she doesn't find out!

I have wonderful friends. Ed and I married so young and had children so early that while other people our age were doing the "young adult" things with their friends, we were rearing children. It has just been in the past few years that I've had the time to enjoy special friendships; I do and am grateful!

And I love children! And Dancing with the Stars and Christmas and I think ELF is the best movie ever made.

Next time, where "waddie" came from.................