A-P-P-R-O-P-R-I-A-T-E - a $64 word!

In my opinion (duh - it's my blog) there are three grossly underused, overlooked words in society today and one I want to address with you today.

Appropriate: especially suitable or compatible (Merriam-Webster)

There are times when simply saying to a child, "Please don't," or "You shouldn't" or "You'd better not" just won't get it.

I always felt it was important to explain to our children why they shouldn't do things and in doing so the concepts of appropriateness, shame, and guilt often were discussed. (Shame and guilt coming up in future posts) I am of the opinion that a child's self esteem isn't built or broken by words that sometimes make them feel bad for something they've done.

There are times when it isn't appropriate behavior for your son to stick his hand down the front of his pants. (or your husband for that matter) - this is something that little and big boys do from time to time, you know. And you know what? If you admonish your little boy and tell him it isn't appropriate to do such a thing, his self-esteem/confidence won't suffer - and he won't be a coward or an under-achiever or anything like that. And hopefully he'll also not be a grown man who goes about "re-arranging the furniture" in public either. Which is, after all, what you're going for here isn't it?

If your 13 year old daughter comes out of the house to go to church wearing a dress that is really just a long shirt and you march her skinny little behind back into the house telling her she's dressed inappropriately, I promise you her self-esteem will not be damaged. Her pride maybe, but not her self-image. Hopefully just the opposite will occur. She will realize that she is too valuable to display herself to all who attend your church! And perhaps it's likely her self-worth will rise in the process. You may end up being late to church and she's going to be pouting the whole way - but you know what - she'll look like a kid whose parents love her too much to let her go to church looking like a hoochy-mama! Am I right or what?

So in working to grow your own little adult - don't be afraid to use the "appropriate" word. I think society would like it if we didn't because it has a connotation associated with stuffiness, tradition, and old people. But according to Merriam-Webster, it's a word that's been around since the 12th century so I think it has some value!

Keep praying - highly appropriate!

PS: word to the wise - never google the following looking for related photo to post on this blog: "teenager short skirt photo" - I may be fired for what now has appeared on my computer!